What a Day!

Last weekend was a blast! My family celebrated Labor Day and the always epic 1st day of kindergarten. Really, it was like a taste of heaven!

For as long as I can remember our family has always marked Labor Day as a time for the outdoors. With guns propped against hay bales in the middle of a field we find ourselves drenched with sweat, drinking Mountain Dew, eating Swiss Cake rolls, waiting for birds to fly overhead. With the sound of shotgun blasts we watch as birds fall from the sky like manna from heaven (insert laughter here for those who've been dove hunting before).

As the weekend began to wane into the not-so-distant past, Tuesday came like a jolt of Red Bull to the likes of my son's 1st day of kindergarten. What joy and sadness packaged in that ride across town! The moment we all simultaneously wait for and wish never happened. The story seems so familiar as the outstretched hand of his mother slowly separated from his and he began his journey down the hall as both fought back tears with new found bravery to face the unknown.

Here's the picture we're painting for the world to see; show the best and hide the rest! There are parts of our lives we want to put on display for the rest of the world to see. We Facebook it. We tweet it. We put it on Instagram. But there are parts of our lives we would rather keep hidden in dark spaces. We hide it. We ignore it. We even lie about it.

I'm learning that God wants to expose everything. Really, God? Is that necessary? Showing the best, I'm fine with that. But the ugly parts, let's just forget about that. Let's leave that in the cellar of times gone by.

He wants to expose the satisfaction we find in His creation. He wants to expose the joy we find in the relationships we are building with others. He wants to expose the fear we experience in unfamiliar territory. He wants to expose the insecurities we see peering through the mirror as we try to measure up to others.

He wants to expose our imperfections. Our insufficiencies. Our baggage. Our scars. Because He knows that then and only then can we begin to see Him as perfect. Sufficient. Burden bearer. Healer.

Here's my prayer today. Father, expose the dark spaces of my heart. Remind me that my measuring stick in life is not my neighbor; it's your Son. In the loving way that only you can, point out my shortfalls with your hand gently pressed against mine to remind me that you will not abandon me. Let me live in the satisfying love and forgiveness that only comes through the sacrifice of your Son. Teach me to be grateful for the life that can only be found in You!
 

Loosen Your Grip

Clinched fists. White knuckles. Death grip. Holding on.

With every bit of strength I had, there I was, suspended from a rock wall considering my next move to make it successfully to the peak of my climb. Knowing that a slight mis-step could leave me falling into the abyss of blue and yellow foam cubes.

This was no time for fear, fatigue, or failure. My son's watching!

Isn't it amazing how experiences in life can so easily penetrate and encapsulate our minds as a small and subtle message for our spiritual journey?

Climbing this rock wall was to become my success story. The death grip that I had placed on the edges of those rocks, the position where I had locked my feet for safety, the ambition to swing out over the face of those ledges. It was my ability and unwavering commitment to prove victorious. For what? All for the applause and adulation of my son?

There have been so many times that I've placed my white knuckle grip on what I consider to be mine; time, money, possessions, relationships, success, without ever fully understanding that it's all simply borrowed gifts from the Giver.

Selfish. Greedy. Prideful. Arrogant. The curse has caused me to fuel my own ego with toxic thoughts leading me to chase empty illusions. To really believe that the harder I try and the more tightly I cling to what's mine would somehow leave me satisfied.

It's all a lie. This world and all that it offers, no matter how hard it tries, will never fully satisfy. And it was never God's plan for us to find complete satisfaction in what He's created. It's simply meant to point us to the Giver Himself!

And God is not relenting to make His point or prove His purpose. Loosening our grip on all that we have will always fare better than God prying our fingers from what He has shared. God is giving to make Himself known! Pursue the Giver more than the gift!

Love God's Way

Tattered clothes. Feeble bodies. Hungry stomachs. Runny noses. We visited site after site hoping to change the inevitable outcome of literally hundreds of children through the vast knowledge and incalculable resources of American wealth.

Anticipation to change the world crashed on the shore of hesitation. In theory, it all made sense that we could offer a major change for the lives of these small gifts of God. But reality was being shaped by my own tumultuous heart.

Each morning we left our humble abode atop the mountainous region of Kijabe, trekking through the region hoping to leave the fingerprints of God on places that were destitute and full of dismal atrocities caused by poverty and hopelessness.

Playing games with children. Praying over patients. Even laying the foundation for a school. I found myself walking beside people who at first sight seemed so vastly different only to realize we all had the same Creator and design; we were all a desperate people in need of a Savior.

There is no question that the sites and sounds of nearly two weeks in a foreign country brought an overwhelming range of emotions. Laughing, crying, and even moments of fatigue and impatience all surrounded our thinly worn bodies and minds as we chose to exert every ounce of energy in being present with our new neighbors.

But here lies my greatest regret and most heartfelt confession. In all the excitement of new adventures and the fatigue of pouring myself into others, I found myself loving with reservation. I know. I know. The epitome of the Christian faith is unconditional love but in those moments I felt myself holding back. It was as if my love tank was being strangled by sweltering heaps of undue reciprocity. It was sin-stricken thoughts of "What are you going to do for me?" that came like a flood causing an internal anguish of the soul.

Near the trip's end, when our team was discussing our most memorable moments and the most difficult story for which we would remember, I couldn't shake this horrific sight. It wasn't the glaring needs of children in poverty. It wasn't the unsettled nature of women prostituting themselves to send their children to school. It was my bout with choosing to love unconditionally. A war that, by my own admission, I was losing.

But God would not settle for His son to be defeated. Rather, He saw me in a state of brokenness and chose to redeem the circumstances by placing me in the ring once again with an opportunity to revive this regenerating spirit of love. Not with a foreigner, not on foreign soil, not in front of a crowd. But with one person, in a familiar place, with a familiar face.

Weak. Hurting. Helpless. Uncomfortable. I was welcomed home by my son, normally full of energy and spunk, stricken with a virus that left him motionless and groaning in the arms of his father. There were no reciprocating actions of love. It was just me weighing my love in the balance; with no conditions. And it was in those moments that I was reminded of the prayer I offered only days before, "Lord, please forgive my unloving heart and let me redeem the moment of loving again without condition; loving the way you love me!"

I know my love could never match the amazing love of my heavenly Father but holding my son in those moments gave me a glimpse of the posture He holds for us and the posture He desires that I would hold for the least of these in this world that He's created. A love without reservation; unconditional love!

My Next Adventure

Trains, planes, boats, and automobiles. We all alike have experienced one or all of these modes of transportation; very likely taking us to a place of excitement and adventure, drudgery and complaint, or monotony and routine.

Some or all of these vehicles will be used to transport me and my small bag of belongings to a place that will seem halfway around the world. In just a few short days I will board a plane in Atlanta to begin my trek to Africa.

"Why Africa?" you ask.

Because I'm confident that life has greater meaning than simply consuming all the forms of entertainment I can get my hands on here in my little world of the southeastern United States.

Don't misunderstand me. My summer has consisted of some amazing memories created with family and friends; beaches and ball parks, mountains and museums, statues and swimming pools. But I do not want to cheapen what I consider to be my primary purpose in life.

So what is my purpose?

Very simply, my purpose is to recognize and respond to these three ideas; God has called me, God has promised me, God is equipping me.

I was once on a path moving quickly in the wrong direction but God rescued me. I wasn't pursuing Him or working my way toward Him or dialing His number. But He called me. And when I answered, He saved me.

He didn't promise that this life would be easy, that I would see instantaneous success, or that all the chips would fall my way. But He made me a promise; I will be with you. Faithful. Committed. Present. With me. More specifically, in me.

He's taking the good, the bad, and the ugly to shape me into a better version of the artwork He desires. He's equipping me. He's giving me a perspective of life that will allow me to empathize with others and share the grace and goodness of God with them as they walk through various trials and struggles that this life continues to dispense.

So, in just a few short days, I will board a plane in the States and begin my journey to Africa. I will join the Love Africa Mission team as we travel to Kenya to serve the people of Kijabe with open minds, hearts, and hands.

While we're there we will have the opportunity to meet children and adults in the hospitals, visit with families in their homes, and read Bible stories to once orphaned children at Naomi's Village. Ultimately, we want to share the love and grace of Jesus Christ with a world who desperately needs to see most clearly the Father's love.

The Break Up

I remember like it was yesterday; the break up. Candy machine rings, origami laden love notes, and tireless telephone calls seemed to dissipate into oblivion.

How naïve a 10 year old could be when his grade school girlfriend was headed to junior high? A heart once melted by her long standing pony tail was now filled with fury toward boys with facial hair.

Why is the break-up so difficult to bear?

The past always seems more glamorous than it really was. Seriously. We scratch our heads and wonder what went wrong. We never fought, argued, or disagreed. Every date was heavenly; eternal bliss. Or so we thought.

The present always seems more painful than it really is. Contemplating our very existence we begin searching for a reason just to live. Looking to that relationship to 'complete me,' we now feel lost and desperate for something to numb the pain.

The future always seems for more fearful than it really will be. This is our new lot in life; single. We place a label on our lives as if we'll never measure up, be good enough, or find our true soul mate.

The truth is, God is asking us to initiate the break-up. And the sad reality, we've so glamorized this relationship that we've ignored his blatant appeal to get out. We're confident that nothing could be better. We've become so familiar with this setting that we're unwilling to escape what we know to be an unhealthy place for ourselves.

And this is why so many people will never enter the relationship God is calling us to engage. Because we're content to believe that dating ourselves is far more appealing, far more satisfying, and far more rewarding than the relationship He's inviting us to consider.

The glamour of pride and selfishness, dating myself if you will, has only masked the damning effects of separating myself from Christ. But the pain of breaking-up is necessary to see the distance between me and the one who holds the greatest affection for me.

The break-up will always be a difficult cross to bear. But it's one that's worth any amount of pain to sustain a life of commitment, submission, and obedience to the greatest lover of all; Jesus, the one who gave His life for me. He will always grant the faith necessary to trust His faithfulness.

Sin is Fun

She saw that it "was good for food, a delight to the eyes, and was to be desired to make one wise."

In a moment of complete vulnerability she abandoned what she knew to be true to appease her craving for a moment of ecstasy. The fruit of that tree would certainly satisfy her appetite. It was appealing; dressed in shimmering colors of majestic goodness.

Who are we kidding to say sin isn't fun? Craig Groeschel says, "if sin isn't fun then you must not be doing it right." Sin is fun...for a season.

Most of us have either become disgusted by such behavior or we've indulged in it ourselves. It either sickens us that others seem to benefit from manipulative deception or we've become a pawn in this masquerade of lucrative living.

"Then the eyes of both of them were opened."

Andy Stanley says, "Sin always comes pre-packaged with a penalty." You cannot do what you want without the interference of its inseparable consequences.

"They sewed fig leaves together and made themselves loincloths."

They believed the lie, justified their actions, and blamed others for their mistake. Then, they made a poor attempt to redeem the situation with what would eventually disintegrate under the elements of shameful living.

Our rebellion can always be traced back to our attempt to out-maneuver God's design for our ultimate happiness. But as one pastor said, "Sin will always take you further than you wanted to go, cost you more than you wanted to pay, and keep you longer than you wanted to stay."

"God made for Adam and his wife garments of skin and clothed them."

However, the most incredible result of our rebellion is not the temporary satisfactions of our wayward living or the overwhelming shame of our distress, but the excruciating path God is willing to travel to reconcile us back to Himself; even the death of His son.

Life is More than a Game!

Life is a game. Life is a test. Life is a journey.

Absolutely! We can make one or all of these metaphors resonate with the various stages of our life.

But if there's anything I've learned in life it's this; sometimes the world's antics can sabotage our thinking in a way that allows its subtle messages to rob us of the fullness of life that we were meant to live.

I'm convinced that God's design for the human frame is to acknowledge Him as the greatest prize in life and that our pursuit of Him should become our greatest priority. And I'm also convinced that He intends for us to make this journey together with those whom we've built healthy relationships nurtured by strong convictions, similar interests, and shared experiences.

Absence will not make the heart grow fonder. 
A life void of God's presence will not engage a heart full of life and purpose. If anything it will cause our heart to deceptively chase empty illusions. A life of isolation keeps the secrets of our past hidden deep within our heart where they continue to gnaw away at the potential for growth and security.

Silence doesn't strengthen our relationships.
Communication simultaneously holds the greatest value and the greatest risk for developing our relationships with God and others. God longs to hear from us and He is desperate to share His love with us. Our silence only perpetuates the confusion for a loving and secure relationship that we all desire.

Distance doesn't merge, it only divides. 

Choosing to separate ourselves from God sends the message that we can independently control the outcomes of our own situations; dividing our allegiance between Him and our idols. Creating space will simply press a wedge more firmly between us and those whom we truly desire to know and be known.

Make time.
Living a life full of selfish desires, filling all of your time to please yourself, will leave you empty and void of meaningful experiences with others. The greatest gift we can ever give God and others is our time.

Create space.
Our jobs, schedules, and hobbies bombard us in a way that we feel the weight pressing in on our soul that we feel robbed of our rest. We must learn to build into our routines the little moments of space where we can breathe and simply "be."

Plant stakes. 
The common denominator for cultivating healthy relationships is memorializing significant moments as shared experiences with others.There have been moments in both my relationship with God and with others where I've planted stakes in the ground to remember as significant moments that I choose never to forget.

Capture the Flag

I can remember one of my favorite childhood games being "Capture the Flag." There's something about running around in the dark, being in stealth mode, proving my own form of bravery, that made me swell with pride. No guy ever admitted, at least not out loud, that he was scared of the dark or didn't want to sharpen his cavalier skills of trekking through the moon-lit landscape.

There are two instances I can distinctly remember. One instance was being in the mountains playing "Capture the Flag" when our group leaders concocted a plan to scare all of us pre-teens with threats of wild hogs and bear in the woods. Our game quickly became survival mode as we attempted to outrun the rest of our team back to the base camp before being eaten alive by wild, ravenous animals.

There was another time, and I'm sure this happens all too frequently, when once the flag was sighted it was constantly being designated for re-assignment making it nearly impossible to find and retrieve to declare a winner to our game.

Now that I'm older and trying to make some kind of connection between childhood memories and current reality, the more I realize just how much those games were attempting to teach me about life.

In life it's so easy to cower down to the pressures of my environment that I throw in the towel and quit. The noises of those beasts, those demons, from my past are causing me to fear my current position. I'm making a mad dash for places of comfort and security when I know full well that I need to be on the front lines navigating this journey.

I'm constantly making waves on this adventure that are rocking my own course because every time I set the pace for a new adventure I become easily distracted, bored, or exhausted and change the course of my destination. Its often to a place where the flag is more easily attainable or accessible, sometimes more visible so others will applaud my accomplishments.

Even in my faith, I play this "Capture the Flag" game with God. He's really called me to a place of surrender; a place where I would trust Him and release all control into His care. And too often I run away from the places He's calling me because of fear of my own circumstances or the improbable chance that He may not be present when I most need Him to be there.

Other times I find myself reeling my flag of surrender up the pole of His will yet only moments later rushing it back down as if I'm only teasing Him with unyielding obedience. And still He patiently awaits for my heart to be re-calibrated back to the place where He is.

Capture the Flag is not just some childhood game; it's a reminder that the flag of my surrender must be captured by an affection for the One who is pursuing me. God has not inclined Himself to be passive in my life; He is actively moving in my direction desiring that I give Him all-access to my doubts, dreams, fears, and goals. He is the Victorious Warrior in this life of Capture the Flag!

The Life of a Prodigal

"I hate you!"

"I don't want to stay here anymore!"

"I'm leaving!"

Words no one ever wants to hear but words that slipped through the cracks of a broken heart and a disappointing past.

I had screamed those words at my parents as I packed my duffle bag full of video games, a change of clothes, and a pack of Little Debbies.

They had denied me a privilege that I was certain I was entitled to receive. And what was worse? They let me pack my bags and begin the hike out the driveway and down the road without hesitation.

What were they thinking?

There was no begging me to stay! No coercion or manipulation! Just a heart melting under the heat of my insincere and selfish rants of disappointment. Waiting.

All of us, at some time in our lives, have done this. We've thrown a fit in the middle of the cereal aisle. We've screamed at friends and family. We've ranted on social media assuring the world that our voices would be heard.

My childhood tantrum and my parents' loving and somewhat unsuspecting response leads me to ponder another familiar story in the Bible.

It's the story of the "Prodigal Son." It's a son who demands his inheritance before the death of his father. When he squanders all his wealth on worldly living and finds himself literally in the 'muck and mire' of a pig's pen, he decides to make a plea of desperation.

But before he could speak one word of the apology he had hoped to recite, the "Prodigal Father" lavishly placed the finest clothes, feast, and title on this young boy. "You are my son!" Wow!

We're just like the son. We're quick to point fingers, place blame, scream obscenities about how unfair life has been, and run recklessly in the wrong direction. Then, when we find ourselves in the pit of despair and sorry for our mistake-ridden past, we attempt to fix our mess all on our own.

God the Father, just like my parents and just like the prodigal's father, is waiting. He doesn't need our apologies as much as he needs our attention. He will let us say the despicable and do the unthinkable only to create a greater awareness of our need for him.

Seriously, how long were the video games, a change of clothes, and some Debbie Cakes going to sustain me? How long will doing this our own way really last?

The Father is waiting. He's watching. And he's simply counting down the seconds to make an all out sprint in your direction, while you are "still a long way off!"

God is Great

God is great, God is good...

Without fail, my son quotes the remaining lines of this child-like prayer offering his vow of thanks for every meal. Sure, it's sweet to hear him say this prayer and we all say thank you and good job and such a posture of faith.

But aren't we just like him, mechanical in our acts of giving thanks, peeking out of one eye just to see if everybody else is nice and neatly bowing with reverence amidst our religious routines? 

The "God is great, God is good" routine will always suffice to the average onlooker. But it makes its greatest appeal to the ones who have surpassed the gentle prayers around the dinner table to desperate pleas around hospital beds, cancer patient rooms, counselor's chairs, and homemade altars. 

It's in those moments that we've placed God on the stand to test his goodness. Can the God who made the stars involve Himself in the daily routines or even the emergency situations of my life? If I call His name, will He answer? 

One of the songs at the top of my iTunes playlist is Kristian Stanfill's "The Lord our God" that says:

Promise Maker, Promise Keeper

You finish what you begin

Our provision through the desert

You see it through til the end

In the silence, in the waiting

Still we can know you are good

All your plans are for your glory

Yes, we can know you are good

The Lord our God is ever faithful

Never changing through the ages

From this darkness you will lead us

And forever we will say 

You're the Lord our God 

God's goodness shouldn't rest on whether He detours our journey away from the desert places in life. His goodness shouldn't rest in His decision to let His silence deafen us to a place of desperation. His goodness is certain no matter our circumstances because He cannot deny Himself. 

 

What we must learn to see is that "He will see it through to the end" and "all His plans are for His glory." He will not leave us feeling abandoned forever. He will always remain faithful to Himself. Yes we can know you are good!