I'm Not Afraid of Dying (I Just Don't Want to be Lame)

     I recently had a chance to catch up with some friends from high school. We met up to eat a late night breakfast at the Waffle House. I know, I get it! Not fancy, maybe even down right sketchy!

     I was sitting in the passenger seat when all of a sudden a car pulled out in front of us at a major intersection. The loud gasp (maybe even a squeal like a little school girl) that came from my direction acknowledged that in that moment I had no control over what was happening. Luckily the pilot of our large diesel truck managed to steer clear of the pressing danger of oncoming traffic.

     As we arrived at the restaurant and stepped out into the dimly lit parking lot, I can remember saying, "I'm not afraid of dying, I just don't want to be lame." Let that sink in for a moment. What I was really saying was, "I want comfort, convenience, and control."

How counterintuitive is that to the life we are actually called to live?

Consider some of the claims given to us by Christ:
Love your enemies. (Matthew 5:44)
Deny yourself. Take up your cross. Follow Me. (Matthew 16:24)
Sell your possessions and give to the poor. (Matthew 19:21)
The first will be last. (Matthew 19:30)

     Nothing about those statements is appealing to the person wanting a more comfortable lifestyle. Nothing about those statements is screaming "This is your best life now!" Maybe I'm much more afraid of dying than I thought. Dying to self. Dying to others' opinions and approval. Dying to pleasure. Dying to the temporary satisfactions of this world.

     "Apart from Me, you can do nothing" (John 15:5). God is trying to tell us that we are the very thing we say we don't want to become; needy, broken, empty, paralyzed, lame. In every instance, unless we give up control to self, we can never truly live. Our sin has caused a separation that we desperately need to be repaired. Life as it was meant to be lived rests in the all-satisfying reach of the grace of Christ toward us.

     How are you doing at admitting you're not really in control? Are you willing to pursue a relationship with Christ even if it means risking comfort and convenience? Are you really willing to die to self? Our true worth rests in a relationship with Christ. "Apart from Me, you can do nothing!"