We have conversations everyday, oftentimes with ourselves, where we conjure up a fine presentation of exquisite vocabulary to present facts, express opinions, or simply talk about the weather.
Yet, inevitably our conversations tend to go sideways with spouses, children, friends, co-workers, strangers, and adversaries when our words, spoken softly in one's ear or bouncing loudly off the walls, are misheard.
And what happens when those words are misaligned or misinterpreted? Our differing views lead to sharp disagreements, controversy, and often times angry hearts! We simply do not know how to agree to disagree.
We seldom communicate with others in a way that makes us better for seeing someone else's perspective. We become so arrogant of our own experiences that we believe we're always right or have grander stories to tell. So narrow-minded that we balk at any consideration that others could add value to the conversation.
We see it in politics, business deals, and families talking around the dinner table. Our attempt to push our agenda, to make the deal, or to get our point across can sometimes blur our vision of the person sitting across the room. How do we not only find value in someone's words but also find value in the person we are engaging in the conversation?
Speak Less, Listen More. Engaging in conversation doesn't require giving proposals, clarifying an agenda, or stating a list of demands. Sometimes the best conversations are the ones where we simply let the other person express how they're feeling or share what they're experiencing. Be interested and attentive. Giving them space to share their hopes and dreams can be life-giving.
Speak the Truth. Conversations that require you to choose a side or defend a position can become intense. Speak the truth. Never resort to manipulation or coercion in an attempt to win an argument, but maintain a position of integrity so there's never an opportunity to bring your character into question. The truth always brings validity to the conversation. Always choose honesty over deceit.
Speak in Love. Conversations always occur between people, not ideas. The point of the conversation isn't to outdo, outsmart, or outwit someone else. It's to bridge gaps and build relationships. Speaking the truth is necessary but not at the expense of the friendship. Speak the truth in love. Choose to value the person more than valuing your own words. Hanging our words on the mantle of self-absorption will melt away in the heat of humble circumstances.
As you continue to have conversations consider these ideas. Don't be quick to speak and don't spend so much time mounting up some response when someone else is speaking. When you decide to speak, speak in a way that the truth is shared as your story is told. See others as important. People who have needs and desires and emotions and significance. Learn to value others as your stories collide in a thunderous heap of words!
No comments:
Post a Comment