Today marks my parents' 40th wedding anniversary!
Two individuals from modestly conservative homes. Merely kids when they decided to tie the knot. Who witnessed two strikingly different family models. Two individuals who are vastly different having been shaped by their family's values and the uniqueness of their own personalities and life experiences.
How have they made it this far? How has this man and woman been able to navigate this journey of marriage for forty years having met on such varying places of the relational spectrum? They didn't just fast forward to some time in the future.
It has been an unwavering commitment of 14,610 days. This includes all the birthdays, holidays, special days, and what many would call regular days. 10 leap years. 10 Olympic Games. 10 Presidential elections.
It has been an unwavering commitment of 350,640 hours. Long hours in baby delivery rooms, hospital waiting rooms with sick and passing family members, sleepless nights laying silent in the bed from an earlier disagreement, nights at home alone due to work and travel. Sacrifices made for the sake of the other.
It has been an unwavering commitment of 21,038,400 minutes of choosing to say yes and stay committed to this relationship no matter what the circumstances may be. Understanding that there is no opt-out clause for this covenantal relationship. Not allowing their minds to wander to the tempting places of 'what if things were different' when life became difficult or feelings of loneliness or discontentment creeped in.
Multiple kids, multiple jobs, multiple housing locations, multiple dreams, multiple opportunities taken and some even denied. But one singular purpose. A relationship built on the promise of their vows on their wedding day. With all the changes they've experienced through life for the past forty years they have not excluded or minimized their commitment to one another.
Today seems appropriate to celebrate a victory. A milestone. A watershed moment. But days like today never come apart from the small victories they have experienced daily for the past 40 years.
My parents aren't perfect. And I haven't always agreed with their parenting decisions and even sometimes their personal decision-making. But they've been a model of consistency and a bedrock foundation of faithfulness for me to see as I establish and pursue my own blueprint for parenting and personal relationships.
Oh the stories us kids could share of how our parents have raised us and helped provide a clear path into maturity and adulthood. And oh the stories we've learned as adults that they shielded us from as kids to protect our innocence at vulnerable seasons in our life.
Loads of grace, forgiveness, and love have become the requisites for sustaining a marriage that has spanned the past forty years. Putting personal preferences aside at times for the sake of the other. Choosing to say "I'm sorry" instead of "I told you so." They have loved one another; they've protected and provided for one another and our family incredibly well.
While their grit, determination, and unwavering commitment have proven to outlast the cultural norm of revolving door relationships there is no question they both would admit that it's truly by the grace of God that the longevity and mutual love of their relationship exists.
God took two broken people and formed a united bond of marriage and simply asked them to keep Him at the center of their relationship. He then simply asked them watch how He could fashion and form a beautiful family by weaving His grace through the complexities of their lives together.
For the disheartened, there's hope. For the hurt, there's forgiveness. For the tired, there's rest. For those in the middle of the mess, cling to what is good. For those on the outside looking in, give grace. For those considering what's best for themselves, choose to love the other. For those considering giving up, there can be victory. For all of us, He's writing a story of epic proportions that will ultimately bring glory to Himself!
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