When God Doesn't Hear

"God, please don't let this happen. Will you take this away? I'll do whatever it takes. Please just answer my prayer!"

But He didn't.

In moments of desperation or in an act to avoid the pain we make our plea for God to intervene. Yet He often chooses not to intercept the pain and suffering which has allowed many of us to bear the emotional and spiritual scars to prove it.

We've all made those requests, those propositions, those promises. God if you'll do A, then I'll do B. It's as if we can convince God to act on our behalf with a list of words meant to manipulate His plan.

It's not that He doesn't want to hear from us or turns a deaf ear toward our requests. It's simply learning to understand how life's circumstances, all of them, are being used to accomplish His purposes.

So, why doesn't He answer all of our prayers?

God values our progress more than removing our pain. We're on a journey to a certain destination; Christ-likeness. And it's a sanctifying process. And sometimes that means encountering various trials in our life that are meant to chisel away some unnecessary traits in our character that deprive us from seeing Him more clearly or becoming more like His Son.

God values our long term relationship more than our momentary requests. God is our Father and it would be unloving of Him to remove every obstacle from our path and constantly give handouts that didn't ensure a growing maturity in our relationship with Him. We are practicing delayed gratification; learning not to settle for momentary pleasures that would diminish the anticipation of our ultimate treasure.

God values who we become more than what we receive. We will never be complete apart from experiencing every season of life God desires. Yes, He gives good gifts. But He will also deny us some of our requests. And it will be for our benefit when He does. As our lives are constantly being renewed, we see our ever-present Father love us in a way that we could not know if all He did was give us what we asked.

I once heard a guy say, "God does exactly what we would do if we knew everything God knows!" And I'm confident that one day we will agree with the great theologian Garth Brooks and say, "Sometimes I thank God for unanswered prayers."

The next time you're tempted to think that God is absent or unloving, remember God is using every circumstance in your life to accomplish His eternal purposes. And it's ultimately for your good and His glory.

Light and Momentary Afflictions

In the emergency room writhing in pain.

Sitting around the dinner table crushed by the accusations.

Walking the halls of a school not your first choice.

Standing in the driveway stunned by the doctor's latest news.

At her bedside saying good-bye for the last time.

Watching them walk away feeling betrayed and alone.

It's moments like these that our reality comes crashing down around us. And to hear others say, "It's going to be ok, God's still in control, or they're time's coming" aren't always the most consoling words for our worn out minds and busted hearts.

The truth is, things will eventually get better and the sun is going to rise again and we are going to get back up on our feet. But in the heat of such moments we're all tempted to fold. To throw in the towel. To scream the obscenities associated with life being unfair.

In our world, those circumstances are heavy and real. But to the onlookers casting a ballot of insignificance toward our situation, they fail to see how wounded we are on the inside. They lack the empathy or the wherewithal to even begin to understand.

Having personally experienced all the above mentioned scenarios, I'm learning how to come out on the other side with a renewed understanding of life. As Martin Luther King Jr, once said, learning "to be judged by the content of their character."

So, here are two simple thoughts that I'm trying to let my mind navigate as I encounter the various difficult seasons of life.

Embrace this season. There are circumstances that we encounter that are beyond our control. We can choose to deny what's going on in our lives, blame others for what's happening to us, or embrace the situation and ride the difficult waves of our trials to the end.

Choose to change. Difficult seasons do one of two things; make us bitter or make us better. It's likely that we've heard that old adage before but it's so true. Our trials are producing a particular attitude that is monumentally shaping our perspective toward life, others, and God. And to simply remain neutral is not optional. The most advantageous response to our situation is to become more humble and more honorable in our interactions with God and others.

Someone once told me, "God does not waste any pain." I didn't believe it at the time because my world was crashing down all around me. But as I continued to walk through the fire I slowly began to see the work that was producing a different me. There were sinful attitudes and expressions of selfishness being exposed, and empathy toward others walking through similar battles that I was able to acknowledge.

And while the weight of our trials can seem unbearable at times, God says they are light and momentary. The good news is He will never abandon us in those moments of fear, angst, betrayal, or desperation.

He has a plan for our lives. A plan that involves both grace and blessing and suffering and difficulty. One that causes us to scratch our heads at times and ask, "Why?" But He promises that in the end it will be light and momentary compared to the eternal weight of glory working in us.

What was I thinking?

I kissed my sister!

I know, right? I can't believe it either!

No amount of soap could wash away the taste. And I rubbed my eyes a thousand times hoping to erase what was now etched in my mind.

Before you go judging me too harshly or throwing stones at me like I'm some kind of stray dog wandering through your yard, hear me out.

She's not really my sister. It's just that we had grown so close it was like we shared the same thoughts, the same blood flowing through our veins; literally, the same heartbeat.

I've known the joys and pains of both being in relationship and being single. And to me, neither outweighs the other. Some people believe they do. Single for years, believing a relationship will heal past wounds or bring a happiness that singleness can't. But it's simply not true.

Others who believe that they are stuck in a relationship and finding a way out would free them from the prison they think they are in. We live in a world filled with deceptively eager minds. Where fairy tales only exist in our imagination and the bubbles of naïve romance are burst by the reality of two broken people trying to cure the other's brokenness.

The truth is, every season of singleness and relationship has one ultimate purpose, to chisel away the parts of you that you weren't meant to carry into the future. Every season is a period of molding. But our problem is, we seldom want to stay on the wheel until the work is done.

I don't have this figured out; not by a long shot. But I'm trying to learn and practice what I believe to be true, at least in my own circumstances.

Love is not easy. Many times, what we want is compatibility. Someone who thinks the way we think, likes what we like, and wants what we want. And often times we'll trade the sacrifice, commitment, and vulnerability of love for common interests on the surface of our relationship. We should never make an attempt to love on the basis of someone else's merit. That's not love at all. Love flows from somewhere deeper within; the place that says, "I love you anyway!"

Forgiveness is the goal. We spend a lifetime looking for Mr. or Miss Right only to find that riding off into the sunset makes for a good scene in some romantic movie. Nobody's perfect and we know that. But we start making exceptions. At least to believe that someone over there is better put together than this one right here. And instead of initiating forgiveness, because we know we aren't perfect, we shift the blame and look for a way out.

We compromise. We lose our minds. We follow our hearts. We begin to believe that our heart is the key to real, lasting happiness. But the sad reality is, our hearts can lead us down a path of momentary pleasure that can cause ultimate heartache in the end. It's like eating chocolate every day only to feel the pain of a cavity months later.

What we've done with our singleness is we've made it about us. What's wrong with me? Why am I not good enough? Why am I not pretty enough? Why won't somebody love me?

And we've even made our relationships about us. Why doesn't she respect me? Why can't he just be here for dinner? Why doesn't he tell me I'm pretty? Why can she not appreciate all I do for her?

So, in our singleness and our relationships we've created a playlist of questions for why our lives aren't perfect. Yet, we never really consider there was a time when we were unlovable. And Somebody chose to love us anyway. There was a time when we broke all the rules and instead of seeking justice, Someone offered forgiveness.

There was a time when that Someone didn't make it about Him; He made it about you. Ironically enough, what He did for you ultimately made it about Him. So, in light of His love and forgiveness, how do you need to love and forgive others in this season of your life?

Super Bowl Sunday!

It's Super Bowl Sunday! Perhaps the most notorious sporting event of the year. Where Levi's Stadium, home of the San Francisco 49er's, will become a cathedral of thousands of football fans from coast to coast.

Millions of people will gather around TV screens in homes, dorms, and bars to consume billions of pounds of chicken wings, chips and salsa, and assorted snacks and beverages.

Die hard fans will watch every second of every play, re-winding hard hits and impossible catches, all their favorite commercials, and hope for a last second Hail Mary to watch a limping Peyton go out on top or see the beginning of a dynasty as Cam dabs his way to what could be the 1st of more rings to come.

Even the fair weather fans of NFL football will tune in if for nothing else to see the pre-game hype of analysts' preferences and opinions drawn from the tactical game plans given by film or their favorite interviews and headlines found throughout the season.

Of course there will be a subgroup of hipsters anticipating a halftime show that includes Coldplay, Beyoncé, and Bruno Mars. Where a 20 minute stage will most assuredly entertain millions perhaps more than the 60 minutes of hard hitting football between the goal lines.

You see, we are all entertained by something or someone. For some, it's sports. For others, it's movies, politics, world-wide news, economics, history, or literature.

And little by little we've let the concept of entertainment seep its way into the pews, stages, and nurseries of our churches. We've placed a priority on our preferences above the central message of the church; the gospel of Jesus Christ.

We jump on the bandwagons of musical style, emotional appeal, and therapeutic sermons that are highly concentrated on the idea of consumerism. As long as there is a balanced reciprocation of feel good moments we find ourselves sitting in chairs, volunteering in the nursery, or creating automatic bank drafts to support our attempts of purpose and entertainment.

Rather than finding ourselves being Super Bowl fans of the church, we need to find ourselves committing to the ongoing ethic of loving God and loving others. Not seeking to be entertained by this church until the next wave of popularity breeds another large crowd down the street.

What many of us don't realize from the TV set is all the hard work, blood, sweat, and tears these two teams have endured to be playing on Super Bowl Sunday. And the (loose) correlation for the church is to realize that God is ready and willing to acknowledge the faithfulness of the body of Christ; His church.