What was I thinking?

I kissed my sister!

I know, right? I can't believe it either!

No amount of soap could wash away the taste. And I rubbed my eyes a thousand times hoping to erase what was now etched in my mind.

Before you go judging me too harshly or throwing stones at me like I'm some kind of stray dog wandering through your yard, hear me out.

She's not really my sister. It's just that we had grown so close it was like we shared the same thoughts, the same blood flowing through our veins; literally, the same heartbeat.

I've known the joys and pains of both being in relationship and being single. And to me, neither outweighs the other. Some people believe they do. Single for years, believing a relationship will heal past wounds or bring a happiness that singleness can't. But it's simply not true.

Others who believe that they are stuck in a relationship and finding a way out would free them from the prison they think they are in. We live in a world filled with deceptively eager minds. Where fairy tales only exist in our imagination and the bubbles of naïve romance are burst by the reality of two broken people trying to cure the other's brokenness.

The truth is, every season of singleness and relationship has one ultimate purpose, to chisel away the parts of you that you weren't meant to carry into the future. Every season is a period of molding. But our problem is, we seldom want to stay on the wheel until the work is done.

I don't have this figured out; not by a long shot. But I'm trying to learn and practice what I believe to be true, at least in my own circumstances.

Love is not easy. Many times, what we want is compatibility. Someone who thinks the way we think, likes what we like, and wants what we want. And often times we'll trade the sacrifice, commitment, and vulnerability of love for common interests on the surface of our relationship. We should never make an attempt to love on the basis of someone else's merit. That's not love at all. Love flows from somewhere deeper within; the place that says, "I love you anyway!"

Forgiveness is the goal. We spend a lifetime looking for Mr. or Miss Right only to find that riding off into the sunset makes for a good scene in some romantic movie. Nobody's perfect and we know that. But we start making exceptions. At least to believe that someone over there is better put together than this one right here. And instead of initiating forgiveness, because we know we aren't perfect, we shift the blame and look for a way out.

We compromise. We lose our minds. We follow our hearts. We begin to believe that our heart is the key to real, lasting happiness. But the sad reality is, our hearts can lead us down a path of momentary pleasure that can cause ultimate heartache in the end. It's like eating chocolate every day only to feel the pain of a cavity months later.

What we've done with our singleness is we've made it about us. What's wrong with me? Why am I not good enough? Why am I not pretty enough? Why won't somebody love me?

And we've even made our relationships about us. Why doesn't she respect me? Why can't he just be here for dinner? Why doesn't he tell me I'm pretty? Why can she not appreciate all I do for her?

So, in our singleness and our relationships we've created a playlist of questions for why our lives aren't perfect. Yet, we never really consider there was a time when we were unlovable. And Somebody chose to love us anyway. There was a time when we broke all the rules and instead of seeking justice, Someone offered forgiveness.

There was a time when that Someone didn't make it about Him; He made it about you. Ironically enough, what He did for you ultimately made it about Him. So, in light of His love and forgiveness, how do you need to love and forgive others in this season of your life?