I'm Addicted To...

"Addicted to what?" you ask.

I know this may sound trivial or contemplative. Normal or superficial. But...

I'm addicted to me. By that, I mean I'm addicted to pride and selfishness. The only one in the room. At least, the only one that matters. As if everybody else in the room, the universe for that matter, exists merely to appease my own self-interests. I manage low risk opportunities against sub-par competition to inflate my own stats and ego.

I'm addicted to you. Not you, really. But your approval. Every step I take and every word I speak is carefully calculated in search of your acceptance. You matter. Your opinion matters. But the truth is, because I'm addicted to me, your opinion only matters if it improves my position by lobbying my own self-worth.

I'm addicted to love. Maybe it's more like lust. Not lust like "50 Shades of Grey" but lust like I'm constantly wanting things that I cannot have or should not want. In reality they're not even necessary or really all that satisfying in the end. It seems as though I can't be content with the simplicity of having enough but I'm constantly reaching for just a little more.

I'm addicted to security. Actually, I'm afraid of being alone. I fear rejection; not having what it takes to measure up to someone's expectations. I stay close to the shore of the familiar and cling tightly to the known. Too often, I'm willing to concede the potential of my future for the pain and frustration of my past just because its familiar.

How will I ever overcome the strongholds of my addictions?

"Lay aside every sin and weight that so easily entangles us." It's easier said than done but sometimes I'm fine to simply let the weight of my addictions lay heavy on my heart rather than deal with the pressure of trying to change.

"Come to Me all who are weary and I will give you rest." The brutality of empty promises have kept me guarded from trusting others. So instead of making myself vulnerable to trust someone to leverage their compassion I find myself striving, working, toiling to become the means to my own end.

Here's the word I need today; Jesus is making a promise. He's inviting me to hand Him my addictions, burdens, and weights in exchange for His rest, peace, joy, freedom.

How about you? The road to freedom begins with handing over the object holding you in bondage; yourself!

Life, Liberty, & the Pursuit of Happiness pt 3

A song from the 90's says, "if it makes you happy, it can't be that bad."

 

Really?
 

Chris Gardner, (Will Smith) in the "Pursuit of Happyness," speaks of our inalienable rights and suggests the genius of Jefferson's plight with the phrase 'pursuit of happiness.' It's as if to say we have the right to train our ambitious minds to attain this emotional state of ecstasy all the while realizing that it may simply be a figment of our imagination. 
 

"How can you say that happiness could be just a figment of our imagination? After all, doesn't God just want us to be happy?"
 

Here's what I know. Happiness can be an elusive creature that causes pain and heartache if it's promise isn't fulfilled.  

God created everything to be good; hence, happiness implied. But man's struggle to be satisfied by such perfect harmony resulted in a rebellious notion to sin. This attempt for a lifestyle of superficial happiness in the garden, in turn, led to a disappointing end.  

While we have continued to pursue our own means of happiness God has unveiled His redemptive plan to secure His original design; a relationship with Him. But why? Where Jefferson and Gardner fail to clearly explain this course of happiness, God continues to declare that our greatest joy is found in Him alone.
 

So, if happiness is not meant to be the climactic pursuit of this life, then, what is? If the apex of man's existence is not some moment of emotional ecstasy, what shall we say?

Perhaps God is wanting to chart a different course for us; the pursuit of something greater than the warm feelings of a happy heart. "Pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace...from a pure heart" (2 Tim 2:22). When our pursuit of God navigates our thoughts, emotions, speech, and actions, we will find the greatest satisfaction known to man.

Don't seek to be happy! Seek God in His holy splendor and trust that when you find Him [yet, when He finds you], you will find all your heart ever longed for!