I promise

I promise.

Words everyone longs to hear and yet oftentimes go forsaken in the midst of life unfolding in the most unlikely ways. All the while its those words that can still be found ringing in the ears of the betrayed and broken.

To find her dressed in white gleaming on her special day. Only to find her picking up the shattered pieces of what might have been. Replaying the memory of being down on bended knee in eager anticipation of hearing her say "Yes" has now been replaced with him on bended knee with the sickened feeling of wondering where to turn.

Whether it's the uncharitable disunity of a marriage, the severed ties of a parent and child, or the best of friends placing years of memories on the chopping block of petty selfish behavior, people have a way of choosing to disrupt years of stability with a few short moments of nonsensical behavior.

I recently had a conversation with a lady who felt like her life was on the brink of relational despair. While I didn't feel I had the words to console or encourage her in the moment, I couldn't shake the circumstances from my mind for several days before eventually tapping into my own experiences and suggesting some thoughts that began to help me deal with my own personal struggles.

Own your part and seek forgiveness. Relationships are developed between two less than stellar individuals who will always carry a fair share of responsibility for the direction of their relationship. And any time tension arises between those individuals it's important that they both own their contribution to the waves of that tension. Relationships have a greater chance to be reconciled when the offender recognizes the offense, chooses to change, and seeks the others' forgiveness to begin building trust again.

Extend forgiveness and trust God to heal you both. Individuals in relationships inevitably will offend the other. Humans are human. Imperfect. With flaws. They think differently. See differently. Just different. Incomplete. So, the best we can hope for is to believe that there's still work to be done. And that work comes in the form of healing. Bandaging the wounds of relationships with forgiveness and grace over long periods of time. And it's deeper than self help or the power of the mind. It really only comes in the form of someone greater stepping in to intervene and mediate our situation from the scope of eternity.

Filter others' advice and counsel. It's easy to get wrapped up emotionally in the appeals of others' facts, opinions, or nonsensical advice. What we need most in moments of broken relationships is for people to speak the truth in love. Those leading us to make wise decisions. Those more interested in our growing as a person than our ability to shoot darts of bitter venom at the offender.

Speak less. The more we speak when we're hurt the more likely we will begin to rationalize or justify our position to play the victim or execute judgment on those who've brought pain into our lives. Sharing our feelings and admitting our pain can be helpful in the healing process but we must careful with what is being poured out on paper, social media, and into the laps of those who will listen. Our hearts are fragile and certainly vulnerable to be shaped by the poison of bitterness, and what's locked up inside will eventually be spewed out when the lid on our mouths is released.

Spend more time alone with God. Perhaps the most profound notion we can take is simply look to find rest for our weary circumstances through being still. Thoughts running hundreds of miles per hour in our heads, asking questions like "what if" or "why" can be exhausting. And while we often fail to find answers to such questions I really believe there is a purpose in the pain. Our view of God is often blurred by our self-righteous acts and achievements. But it's in moments of devastation that an opportunity to see Him more clearly becomes possible. And He wants to create a change in us that otherwise may not be possible.

While I know this doesn't answer every question for the difficult circumstances in our lives nor does it bring healing to every fractured relationship, it does give a frame of reference for every individual seeking to find a journey toward healing.

I promise. These words invoke an overwhelming amount of trust or skepticism depending on our experiences with those who have such a claim. Here's what I believe, "every promise is Yes in Christ Jesus." He is doing a work in us that is incredibly life changing for our good and His glory!

I'm Addicted To...

"Addicted to what?" you ask.

I know this may sound trivial or contemplative. Normal or superficial. But...

I'm addicted to me. By that, I mean I'm addicted to pride and selfishness. The only one in the room. At least, the only one that matters. As if everybody else in the room, the universe for that matter, exists merely to appease my own self-interests. I manage low risk opportunities against sub-par competition to inflate my own stats and ego.

I'm addicted to you. Not you, really. But your approval. Every step I take and every word I speak is carefully calculated in search of your acceptance. You matter. Your opinion matters. But the truth is, because I'm addicted to me, your opinion only matters if it improves my position by lobbying my own self-worth.

I'm addicted to love. Maybe it's more like lust. Not lust like "50 Shades of Grey" but lust like I'm constantly wanting things that I cannot have or should not want. In reality they're not even necessary or really all that satisfying in the end. It seems as though I can't be content with the simplicity of having enough but I'm constantly reaching for just a little more.

I'm addicted to security. Actually, I'm afraid of being alone. I fear rejection; not having what it takes to measure up to someone's expectations. I stay close to the shore of the familiar and cling tightly to the known. Too often, I'm willing to concede the potential of my future for the pain and frustration of my past just because its familiar.

How will I ever overcome the strongholds of my addictions?

"Lay aside every sin and weight that so easily entangles us." It's easier said than done but sometimes I'm fine to simply let the weight of my addictions lay heavy on my heart rather than deal with the pressure of trying to change.

"Come to Me all who are weary and I will give you rest." The brutality of empty promises have kept me guarded from trusting others. So instead of making myself vulnerable to trust someone to leverage their compassion I find myself striving, working, toiling to become the means to my own end.

Here's the word I need today; Jesus is making a promise. He's inviting me to hand Him my addictions, burdens, and weights in exchange for His rest, peace, joy, freedom.

How about you? The road to freedom begins with handing over the object holding you in bondage; yourself!

Wake Up

In my dreams I'm 6 foot 4 inches, I'm dating a super model, and I own a summer house in Fiji. But it always seems that the slightest noise or a single beam of light awakens me at just the moment it couldn't possibly be better. 

Then there are those moments in my sleep when nightmares of being suspended in the air with no measure of ground in sight or being squeezed between two walls feeling pressure from every direction that I'm thankful to be awakened at any time of the night. 

Perhaps the pendulum that swings from one extreme to the other; from sweet dreams and wishful thinking to night terrors and extreme misfortune, would be best suited to simply find a balance of some happy medium.

Our lives are chock full of happy and sad moments; the blessings of a loving God and the pain of a world full of hate. It seems our sensational views are always circumventing our circumstances to say "life couldn't be any better" or "life couldn't be any worse."

Life often seems to leave us in a state of sponsored pride or pity; feeling like I'm something more or less than who I really am. We've either sunken too deep in our flaws to be helped or we've reach some apex of perfection to relinquish anyone's aid.

We need to admit that we are a bad and sinful people in need of a good and loving Father. A father who never sleeps. A father who will not neglect or abandon his kids. A father who is generous and responsible. A father who is constant and committed. A father who will be there when we wake up!

You can't save yourself. You can't be your own master. And you make a terrible god. Seriously, no amount of effort, money, work, or time can generate an acceptable version of you before God. But He made a way for you to become a presentable candidate for His family through the right-ness of His son. All you have to do is be awakened from this sleep, this death of a sin-stained life, and enter into the light and life of eternal bliss found only in the payment and promise of His son.

Wake up! This is not a dream! Realize that the dreams and nightmares you think are defining your current reality is incomparable to the identity being given to you by the One nudging your soul to awake. Your purpose, your mission is meant for more than dreaming; it's meant to live in an all-out pursuit of the One bringing those dreams to life!

Come and See

Have you ever heard a story that sounded too good to be true?

Some time ago I spoke with a lady who began telling her story, and as she continued to speak I couldn't believe how eerily similar yet wildly unbelievable it sounded.

Just a small town girl in a small town world her Friday nights were filled with cheers from the sidelines of her favorite football team. Weekends with friends. Sundays splashed with church services and family dinners.

But entering adulthood, life had taken her on the ride of her life. Big cities, prestigious universities, and a network of friends that was woven into one of the country's most historically successful football programs.

With diploma in hand, the world was calling her name. Little did she know what lay on the other side of her college experience; entering the hospitality division of a major sports franchise. Meeting successful people labeled among the Who's Who in sports and entertainment.

But the road didn't stop there. Next stop, one of the world's most famously successful retail corporations. And it's here that she partnered with others to help the company make strides in online operations.

In a world prone to arrogance, she carefully crafted her words with a tone of sincere humility. And I was speechless. Then, I finally asked if I could come witness her latest venture. Her response, "Sure, come visit and I'll show you around!"

For a story that sounded so incredible it wasn't untouchable. She invited me into a space of extraordinary otherwise known as her ordinary life. In essence, she was saying "Come and see!"

When Jesus comes on the scene, one of his disciples-to-be actually poses this question, "Can anything good come from Nazareth?" And the only words Philip could seem to muster were, "Come and see!"

When Jesus' disciples return from town to witness His encounter with the woman at the well they pose the question, "Why are you talking to her?" Meanwhile the woman had made her way back to town with this announcement, "Come and see!"

When hearing of His friend Lazarus's sickness Jesus delays His arrival for two more days. Then Lazarus dies. But upon seeing his sister weeping Jesus asked where Lazarus had been buried. "Come and see!"

On the Sunday morning following the crucifixion, Mary approaches the tomb of Jesus. Frantic, I'm sure, by the appearance of an angelic being, he reassured her of Jesus' resurrection with the words, "Come and see!"

The events of Easter weekend may appear unbelievable but the details are certainly undeniable. What appears to be so incredible isn't untouchable. And we've been invited onto the stage to witness the greatest escape the world has ever known. And the resurrection reverberates through all creation, "Come and see!"

Christ accomplishes more than anyone could imagine in the short span of his death and resurrection. Yet, our response is invaluable to this pretense; His life for mine.

To come and see sounds so attractive. But think of the enviable position of Thomas to have his doubts crushed when Jesus bids him to come and touch; to witness more than the attraction of others' experiences. To lay to rest all amounts of skepticism by the first-hand proof of His resurrection.

And yet way too many of us are content to only have a glimpse of the immeasurable greatness of God from a distance. He is calling us to so much more. Bonhoeffer says, "The cross is not the terrible end to an otherwise god-fearing happy life, but it meets us at the beginning of our communion with Christ. When Christ calls a man, he bids him come and die."

"Come and die!"

The cross is necessary. Death is necessary. But it does not end with his death. In fact, His death initiated a transaction toward life for us in Him. And now, through His death and resurrection, we can truly live in Christ.

This life leads to death if all we do is strive for all its trinkets and toys. To crucify the passions and lusts of this world and to find the death and resurrection of Christ a joyous occasion will bring life insurmountable.

May our hearts meditate on these words to stir in us a greater affection for God's Son Jesus Christ:

Oh the wonderful Cross, oh the wonderful Cross
Bids me come and die and find that I may truly live
Oh the wonderful Cross, oh the wonderful Cross
All who gather here by grace, draw near and bless Your name 
--The Wonderful Cross by Chris Tomlin

When Life Runs off the Tracks

Several years ago my life ran off the tracks of my own expectations. And there I was crashing and burning in the ditches of relational strife with God nowhere to be seen.

I begged God. I blamed God. I even tried to buy God off.

I gave him what I thought to be my A-list resume of good deeds and behavior; how nobody should ever have to go through that or feel this way.

I told Him I would do A if He would do B. And after many failed attempts to put the pieces back together I'm pretty sure I screamed obscenities in the direction of His seemingly deaf ear to my desperate pleas to change my situation.

And wouldn't you know it, He didn't heed to my attempts of manipulation at all. My ultimatums to fix the situation seemed to hit the ceiling and come crashing back down on the soul that had become numb to real intimacy.

And as the years go by I'm realizing that He's not interested in tallying the score of our deeds. He's not all that concerned with making sure we are comfortable with life's trinkets and toys. He's really not even placing the highest priority on our following all of the Bible's commands.

He's placing a priority on love. And I'll be honest, I'm terrible at love.

Well, maybe that's not fair to say. That I'm terrible at love. I do love me. I care for me well. I serve me well. I put my interests at the top of my priority list. In most instances, I'm willing to do just about anything to appease me.

Back to my life running off the tracks...

Maybe my perspective of love; self-love, wasn't really love at all. Maybe it's just a fabrication of love; self-centeredness in disguise. Dressed in a horrible wardrobe and all kinds of dysfunction on display for the world to see.

But what God has begun doing is exposing something woven into the deepest parts of my being.

What's most important; who's most important.

And it's still a work in progress. That's evident to the people who know me well.

Nevertheless, I will continue to fight this fight each and every day. This fight of believing that I'm most important. That I matter most. That my comforts and circumstances take priority over others.

Realizing that God scoffs at my manipulative behavior and ultimatums to change my situations.

So, have the wheels of my life found the tracks again? I think so. There's still tension. Sparks still fly. It's not the well-oiled life I thought I was living. But's it's moving forward. And it's producing change.

God created this world and called people to Himself for one purpose; to become more like His Son. He has no intention of letting us as His people continue living with a misguided, misinformed view of mission.

He sent His Son to bear the ultimate display of mission; a self-less, others-focused act of unconditional love. The trajectory of His love was uninhibited by any and all circumstances. No amount of sacrifice, inconvenience, or preference could de-rail His mission to declare to all the world the love He had for them.

When He could have very easily petitioned to His Father to change the course of His eternal plan, He didn't. Because His love flowed much deeper than the momentary circumstances of His affliction.

His willingness to endure the wrath of God and the anguish He felt from the hands of sinful men led to a forgiveness and freedom for us to experience that otherwise would have been void apart from His submission and obedience.

And our response to this great act of love; His sacrifice, is to surrender our lives and direct our love to the greatest lover we have ever come to know. And rather than hanging our condition-filled love in the balance of our circumstances, we should trust that what He is doing in our lives is producing an immeasurable weight of glory that is incomparable with any obstacle in our life that He is using to make us more like His Son.

So, when you think your life is running off the tracks, remember, He has every intention of using those circumstances to produce something incredible. While it may not be enjoyable, don't lost heart. He's making something new!